Why I Hate: "AVP"

I love Aliens. I love Predator. I HATE AVP.

Alien vs Predator (2004). A dream movie that should have been an entertaining, action-filled sci-fi horror with two of sci-fi's (and two of my all time favourite) most iconic monsters. Far from it, really. The result was everything but- a nightmare of epid fail proportions. What a big pile of fucking SHIT!!! Everything about that movie was rubbish. Only good thing was the budget. Sorry, hated it all.

Lets forget about the terrible acting, script, plot, music and unknown Eurotrash actors for a second. I mean, wer'e talking a VS movies- all we should be getting is said monsters kicking the crap out of each other. And we don't even get that. I find it hard how anyone can screw up such a simple premise, escpecially with these two franchises who have had a multitude of spin-off comics and novels, most of them great. All Paul W S Anderson had to was to take one of the comics (preferably the first one called Prey which cleverly combines both creatures together really well) and adapt it for the movie- but he didn't do this. he opted instead not only to write a whole new screenplay, but a screenplay that wasn't even original. It took 90% of the material from the comics and then set it in the Alien universe so to link it with the Alien saga's cannon. Which sucks even more as now we have a yet another rubbish movie with an even more preposterous setting that we have to take as part of the already tainted Alien saga.

He literally mixed up and bastardize the various comic stories and made the film into mess. If you read the original novels, you'll see how good AVP stories can be. Hec, even the AVP2 video game had a better storyline than this peice of shit movie. I hate hate hate hate HATE AVP.

I bought the the 2-disc edition recently for £6, a really cheap price, and only becuase i wanted to see the documentaries to see what excuses they could come up with for their design choices as i'm interested in that prt of film-making. I also i wanted to hear the audio commentary- and it's unbelievable! Anderson, [Sanna] Laathan and [Lance] Henrikson seem to be lapping the movie up, even Henrikson applaudes Anderson and thanks him for making such a great film!? That's just bullshit! Can they not see how bad the film is? They mention no flaws whatsoever, and Anderson seems to love his own work, theyr'e all laughing and joking away, "oh wow that was great" "how cool is that part" "well done Anderson that was a really good film"- it's astonishing to hear these people this way concerning such a sh!tty film.

Iv'e heard loads of commentries where they apologise if something doesn't work or wasn't as good as how they would like, or didn't turn out well. With AVP it takes the cake- apparantly the movie was the PERFECT vision of Anderson's imagination! He doesn't say a bad thing about anything! And Henrikson and Laathan agree!? Seriously, listen to Henrikson next time, you can hear them sucking Anderson's cock, it's insane.

I'm sure the Strause Brothers (directors of the AVP sequel) will be more apologetic, since they have been listening to fan's responses and Colin has guts to show his face on these boards as well as the ones on fansite AVP Galaxy.com.

Anderson hasn't done anything of the sort- has never talked to fans, doesn't show his face in public and has never mentioned anything about AVP except on the DVD where he "claims" to be the biggest fan. Yeah right lol. He has never outright spoken about the film's failure to acheive anything in the same vein as Aliens or the original predator.

I don't care how many Aliens killed Predators or vice versa either, which happens to offend a lot of Predator fans as well as they see it as insulting that the creature wasn't shown in a fair light. To be honest, i don't care, I'm a fan of both franchises although i'm not going to resort to whatever tactics the other fans do to defend the creatures in these movies. I like monsters and i hold both species dear to me, and whatever bias is going on is purely down to bad film-making and idiotic amateur directors. Neither species is "better" than the other, though there will always be an exuse/answer from each party to counter-argue the other's opinion. It's just disheartening to see fans of both franchises stoop so low when trying to have a coherant debate, the arguements here are so nonsensical at times it's beyond silly.

As long as both creatures are doing what they do best, it's fine by me. However, i ddin't even get that in AVP.

I just wanted to see good creature designs and good performances from them. I come to see the monsters, i don't care about anything else. AVP SUCKED with the Predators. Fat obese mutha*bleeps* who don't even have the original sound effects, and the actors inside them just running around not even getting into character!! And then unmasked, it's even more of a joke.

"Because the audeince had come to respect and empathise with [Scar], subtle changes were made to his facial anatomy to make him more heroic" -Alec Gillis and Tom Woddruff, Jr. AVP: The creature Effects of ADI by Titan Books.

"Subtle changes" ?? They made him look like he had special needs Downs Syndrome (No offence). Anderson was to blame on this part too- he wanted the Preds to have an exagerated, comic-book posture to them. But for some reason they turned out to be fat mutha*bleeps*. I guess he doesn't know anything about comic book art either.

Thats why he sucks. He doesn't care for the source material or the fans. The least hecould have done is do some research in what people wanted in the first big-screen AVP movie. He didnt do anything and just "assumed" that this is what we wanted. That is blatant disregard, disrespectful and downright patronising to all of us that admire the series so much. He didn't even give any interviews to AVP fansites, or talked about "in retrospect". Nothing whatsoever. Resident Evil sucked, and i'm so glad that he's got nothing to do with the film adaptation of one of my favourite game franchises ever- Castlevania. His original script for it sucked more than AVP and Resident Evil combined. You know why? He made the main character in his script use a sword instead of THE WHIP. The trademark weapon of the protaganist, and he doesn't give it any justice. Anderson is a fucking idiot, plain and simple.

For what it's worth, AVP had some good Aliens though, and a nice Queen. In AVP-R however, we get a wicked Predator (with extra-special kudos to Ian Whyte for actually studying the character properly, or just watching the original movie for once), but then the Aliens look like trash. Theyr'e not sleek, slender or scary- they just waddle along like idiots, and even the animatronics on them was crap. Even the Predalien was garbage, if you looked closely the guy in the costume didn't even "perform" like a creature, he just wobbled backwards and forwards like the fat bastard he was.

So hey, maybe on the next one they'll be right on both fronts.....next one? Like hell there will be another. AVP was bad and AVP-R was just adding insult to injury. Although i did enjoy the latter a hell of a lot more!