Tuesday 27 January 2009

Worst Star Wars lines ever


Okay, I love Star Wars. But I HATE the prequels. One of the reasons, okay one of the main reasons, is the dialogue. Out of all the problems with these prequels (along the directing, acting, story, plot holes etc) it's been the dialogue that has been mostly criticised- by fans and the general public alike- and it's not a big surprise why. Lucas is just a weak script writer and whilst his ideas are great his dialogue isn't- what he thinks sounds good on paper does not mean it comes out good on screan, especially when he directs his actors poorly too.

Here's my personal collection of, in my opinion, the worst lines in the SW preqeuls- which weren't very hard to find at all (in no order, though at some point I will put them in order of crap to worst):

1) Nute Gunray: Shoot them, or something!

2) Little Anakin: "Are you an angel?" (Oh dear god...)

3) Anakin: "YIPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!" (my ears!)

4) Captain Tarpals: "Ouch time." (he's a captain of an army and he talks like a fucking baby, stupidest thing iv'e ever heard)

5) Gungan:"Jar-Jar, usa the booba"
Jar Jar: "Mesa no hava da booba" (seriously, WTF?)

6) Gungan: "Jar-Jar, your in big doodoo this time!" (...)

7) (after Anakin has just explained that he killed all the sandpeople, women and children in blind range with no remorse) Padme: "To be angry is to be human.":.... Is that the reaction one would show when someone commits mass murder and runs amok????!!

8) Anakin: "General Grievous, I thought you'd be....taller..." (Grevious is like nearly 8 feet tall...way to go Anakin).

9) Obi Wan: "Did you press the stop button?"
Anakin-: "No, did you?" (If Obi wan had just asked, obviously he wouldn't have been the one who pressed it. Really stupid bit of dialouge)

10) Yoda: "Not if anything to say about it...I HAVE!" (Some things Yoda says are so stupid.)

11) Obi:"The sith are evil!"
Ani:"In my opinion the jedi are evil!"
Obi: "Well then you are lost" (well gee, thanks for your help Obi, it's like you just gave up helping him on the spot!)

12) Anakin: "If your'e not with me, then your'e my enemy!!!"(can it get any more patheically cliche?)

13) Grievous: "Activate ray-shields..."
*a scene showing some shields coming on* next scene:
Anakin: "Ray-shields!" (well thanks for that Anakin, as if the audience were too stupid to understand that they were ray sheilds having just seen them come on after Grevious just bloody TOLD US!)

14) Anakin: "You will trrrrryyyyyyyyyy!" (yawn)

15) C3PO: "This is such a drag, help i've fallen and can't get up, i'm quite beside myself" (really, what an idiot, and what a lame line of "comedy")

16) Obi:"I saw him...killing...younglings!" (Younglings? LMAO- Lucas needs a dictionary and a thesaurus too if he's coming up with stupid words like that)

17) Anakin: "I killed them. ALL OF THEM. And not just the men......but the women....and the children too! I HATE THEM!!" (LOL, hilarious)

18) Anakin:"They're ANIMALS, and I slaughtered them...... like ANIMALS!"

19) Darth Sidious: "POWER!! UNLIMTED POWER!!! (I expected him to say "It's OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!")

20) "Army or not... You must realise ... You are DOOMED!!!" (if he's going that far AT LEAST finish it off with an evil laugh at the end)

21) Sidious: "No no no,.... YOU.. will DIE!!" (honestly, is Lucas mentally 5 years old or what?)

22) Shmi Skywalker: "Ani? Ani? you are so handsome. I love... i-i-i lo... i loo00-- uuuuurrgghhhhhh!" (no comment...)

23) Anakin:"Do you like sand? I hate sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." (-is this shit for real? Yes, unfortuenatly it is)

24) Yoda has also been guilty of many stupid sounding lines becuase of the way he speaks, such as "Around the survivors a perimeter create."(completly the dumbest thing iv'e ever heard, alien or not). In fact most of the aliens in the SW prequels have such stupid lines of gibberish (coupled with their weird voices) that Gollum sounds the sanest out of all of them. Jar Jar Binks is mostly to blame here with his nonsense talk Eg Phantom Menace: "Oh mooie, mooie, I love you! No, no, mesa stay. Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Meesa your humble servant." "My tongue is heavy" "The queen is being pretty nice meesa dinks...pretty hot" ""Weesa going hoooooome!" ......Absoloutly fucking atrocious.

25) Mostly however it's Anakin's and Padme's lines which are soo cheesy and cringeworthy it's like a parody of the worst romantic film you've ever seen. Even Entertainment Weekly also accucsed Ep3 of having the 15th worst line in the history of cinema, with Padme's "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo".

26) Anakin:"I've been dying a little bit every day since you came back in my life..." (cringe)

27) Padme:"You're going down a path I can't follow. You're breaking my heart." (cringe x2)

28) Padme:"I truly, deeply, love you..." (how about:" I love you?" What's wrong with that, eh? Simple...and NORMAL)

29) Padme:"I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul; tormenting me." (cringe, worst romantic dialogue ever)

30) Anakin:"Believe me. I wish that i could just wish away my feelings" (cringe, Dear God)

31) Anakin: You are so beautiful!
Padme: It's only because I'm so in love . . .
Anakin: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.
Padme: So love has blinded you?
Anakin: Well, that's not exactly what I meant . . .
Padme: But it's probably true! [[.............I giveup. Taxi!]]

32) Padme: It has been far too long, Master Kenobi. Ani? My goodness you've grown.
Anakin:So have you. Grown more beautiful, I mean. Well, for a Senator I mean. (worst pick up line ever).

33) Darth Vader: "I HATE YOU!!!!" (lol, emo)

The prequels are universally regarded as having the worst dialouge in the SW saga- Lucas can't write for sh!t. I know SW isn't supposed to be Shakespeare, but come on, its not meant to be total laughable bullshit either. At lease the originals are fun and don't take themselves too seriously- the prequels do, and they fail hard. Just so bad! Maybe if it was in a different langauge it would tolerable...expecially the Anakin and Padme dialogue- it's just way too cheesy to be heard in English....hmm.. I should probably look for a Hindi dub of them, at least the romantic lines would work better and becom more tolerable to watch....no-one makes cheesy romance sound classy as good as Bollywood!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

See, on paper those lines aren't actually so bad (I am referring to Padme and Anakin) but here's the problem: they are trying uber-heard to be epic and poetic and are wrong for the characters.

Lucas shouldn't be allowed to write dialogue. Ever.

The rest, whole-heartedly agree with. They just write awful dialogues and Yoda became militant? Seriously? This is the same Yoda that preached patience and control in the original films. Talk about jumping the shark.

Anonymous said...

^I meant 'hard' not 'heard'.

Anonymous said...

It's been awhile since I've seen these terrible movies (and I don't really plan on ever seeing them again), but wasn't #29 an Anakin line?

I am human said...

Toxic are you. Missing the point to some of these lines. General Grevious U thought you'd be taller. Its so obvious it's sarcasm and aiding into an insult.