Castlevania:Lords of Shadow demo thoughts

So, I just downloaded the new Castlevania: Lords of Shadow demo, and here's my thoughts so far: Overall, it's decent so far.

Gutted I couldn't move the camera since I like to be in control of it all the time (and Gabriel looked really small on screen for me), but otherwise the demo was decent. The presentation in particular is excellent- the book which opens up to show you the moves, the little hand drawn animations of the character as it does a move that you want to learn, the art drawings in sketchbook style which show as part of the cinematics were beautiful. Voice acting is great so far of course (how can it not be, with the likes of Robert Carlyle and Patrik Stewart involved, to name a few) and the graphics are sublime. Combat was decent as well. Cinematics are excellent and the atmosphere, art and design in the game are of a very high standard.

Now, the cons...

I know the art style isn't Castlevania (it being a reboot and all) but i didn't think they would remove the music as well. It doesn't seem very "Castlevania" at all. It actually sounds like the soundtrack to The Lord of the Rings movies (in particular, The Two Tower), and looks like it too. Castlevania's music is very central to the series but there are no motifs here or any homages or references. Seems like a proper fresh start, which is a shame for a long term fan like me who at least wanted some connections to the roots, more than a whip and sub weapons.

Also, everything seemed too scripted and they use cinematics too much as part of the fighting system. The part where you have to impale that Warg (more LOTR similarities there) is a bit lame because it's just an animation that plays to kill him, and if you miss to trigger it the first time, it'll just repeat again until you get it right. Same with the horse riding; you just press the button when it prompts you to trigger the long cinematic to kill things. Unlike God of War where at least you control every part of the killing animations (to a degree), here all you do is press one button to start the animation, and then you just sit back and watch pre-scripted cinematic....whilst it looks nice and is very movie-like, it doesn't require any effort at all, and thus defies the purpose of me actually playing it.

Still, it all looks great, but I'm not doing much in it. That's my major gripe at the moment- I'm watching too much rather than playing....Kojima's influence there, no doubt :)

Other than that, it's shaping up pretty damn well, and i'm interested to delve into this world further. Roll on October 8th.

Castlevania: A 3D Retrospective

In the light of the new "Castlevania: Lords of Shadow" game, I thought I'd talk about the last few attempts at bringing the Belmont legacy to life in 3D.

The N64 ones are some of the most underrated games ever made. As a Castlevania fan, i think they perfectly converted what was so good about the old-skool series into 3D- straight up platforming action. People complained about it's difficulty, camera and controls but i never had a problem with them. I'm glad people are warming up to them now in time and they are seen somewhat as "cult classics". I personally love them (though it's really just one game- Legacy of Darkness is the definitive N64 title), i played through it over a dozen times back when it was first released and I had a blast with it, very fond memories.

Lament of Innocence was a great start to a new 3D series. Acting as a prologue/prequel, i think it set the series up nicely for a new, fresh run. It wasn't perfect, but it was a brilliant shot- more combat and action orientated whilst utilising some of the RPG elements that IGA introduced (but not all, it was severely minimised as it was intended to bring in newcomers to the series), it had an excellent fighting system, fantastic atmosphere and visuals, art+ design and absolutely superb music as usual (long term CV veteran Kojima's score should have won soundtrack of the year at a game award ceremony but unfortunately it went to Halo 2 instead- very lame). Although there wasn't much to the game itself (it all whittled down to a series of rooms where you have to kill everything in it, then unlock the door and move on to the next room), i admired the attempt and it remains among one of my favourite Castlevania games. The camera wasn't as great as it could have been though because it was always fixed and set high up looking down, and all you could see was the room at hand- they could have utilised it more and shown off some more of the environments, as the game did have excellently modelled setting but you could never see them properly because the camera never allowed it. I always used to jump up just to see some of the more beautifully designed interiors and ceilings..shame no-one else could see them if you were playing casually. Though, it always focused on the action and i guess that's what counted.

Curse of Darkness, however...that was the killer. Having been impressed with LoI, i was really looking forward to where they would go next...but Curse was a really big disappointment. Sure, this time they completely implemented the RPG system that IGA was known for, but this time it wasn't enough- the visuals suddenly looked dumbed down than before, the environments looked really bland, and the gameplay was repetitive as hell. They improved on LoI by having bigger environments to run around in but there was never anything to do, all you were doing was running around from one part to the next and fighting the same enemies over and over. The weapon forge system was decent but none of the weapons were good to wield- every weapon felt the same, nothing was different about any of them. The Devil Forge thing was a lame gimmick that never took off- like a Pokemon style familiar that follows you around, this was a good idea but just not implemented well enough.

The music was excellent as usual from Kojima as was the art and design, but it was wasted on a poor game. It just didn't do anything it tried to well enough- just boring, bland, repetitive and uninspiring. The bosses were also quite lame and it had one of the gayest villains i've ever seen (Isaac).

A shame as they set up the series really well with LoI and it looked like it was finally going places, but then they single handedly ruined it with CoD. I know there are fans of it, but i hated it. It's sad because the series did get a ton of new fans who were finally introduced to this gothic and beautiful world crafted by Kojima, IGA and Yamane but now they have abolished it because of the reboot. I know they still make hand-held versions of their universe, but it's not the same...and their last attempt (Harmony of Despair) was pretty horrible.

So, i think the best ones were the N64 ones and then LoI. Though they aren't as bad as people claim to say, sure Curse wasn't all that but there's still stuff in there that makes it a decent entry, if not heavily flawed.

From the looks of it, Lords of Shadow has giant bosses you have to climb, very much like Shadow of the Colossus and God of War. One think that i'm worried about are the lack of throwbacks to the original games- i hope there are some nods and references to the previous games, like musical cues, weapons and such, but so far there doesn't look like there are any and some reviews say that it's not very old skool CV. A shame really as i'd love to be running through the castle Clock Tower or something with an orchestral version of Vampire Killer or Bloody Tears playing in te background. But this game looks like a total new revamp altogether, molded off another game entirely with the Castlevania title tacked on it seems (the game was originally a new IP called Lords of Shadow but then Konami came into it and then developed it into a Castlevania game). It shows.

Reviews: Piranha 3D (2010) and Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)

Piranha 3D (2010) aka PORNAHA 3D

Sun, sand, sea and SEX! This is basically 2 hours of non stop T and A with hot chicks, as well as great cameos with some of the hottest stars in porn. Riley Steele, Gianna Micheals, Ashlynn Brooke AND Kelly Brook- all naked, tits out....on the big screen, in 3D. (Is it sad that I know all these porn stars?....)

Oh yeah, and there's some crappy story about killer piranhas tacked on. Well, there has to be a "story", ya know.

Anyway- lots of fun. The movie itself is absoloute crap of course, but we didn't come to see a movie- we came to see hardcore gore, kills, carnage, monstrous piranhas ripping the sh!t out of everything and everyone and lots and LOTS of hot girls strutting their stuff in 3D....which easily makes it a great A* film! At times it was like I paid just to see a 3D strip show...but a lot cheaper, of course. This is the first film which actually uses the 3D for the best purpose ever- PORN! And the audiences can't get enough! We want more! If you want to see a proper 3D movie in the cinema, then this is easily the best since this year's How To Train Your Dragon.

10/10 (though, realistically, it's like a 4/10- pure cheesy, bad, utterly ridiculous and completly predictable exploitation cinema...and I loved every second of it. The 70s/80s are back, yay).

Next:

Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)

Wow, I didn't think this kind of movie could get any better after the awesome Kick-Ass earlier this year, but this matched it equally! Edgar Wright does it again! Super fast, super clever, super witty, super inventive, super NINTENDO awesome film! I was entertained throughout and loved it, there never a dull moment whatsoever. Definitly a film for geeks and video game fans- but I loved that it is very self aware and never took itself seriously, and always broke the third wall (or 7 in this case!). I had a blast and can't wait to see it again- this is not only one of the best films of the year but also one of the best comic book/graphic novel adaptations ever. I have never seen anything like it- it's genre-breaking, highly creative and definitly ORIGINAL! (Something that is missing in 99% of films these days, and all of a sudden this comes along which is PACKED full of it).

10/10. Loved it! Too bad it's not doing as well as it should at the US box office...please support it! Us guys in the UK love it, though! Go and see it! This is Wright's best film after Shaun (and in some cases even better, i felt!). Could be his finest hour! I actually wanted to hate the film at first becuase I can't stand Micheal Cera, but this was a really good movie, and it's impossible to hate it for me. There's just too much coolness in it. Hilarious.

2010 is easily one of the best years for film for me! How can it get any better?!

Review: The Wolfman (Joe Johnston, 2010) (Extended Director's Cut)

Another full moon means The Wolfman returns in this special extended director's cut Blu-Ray and DVD!

Now, I loved the theatrical cut and hailed it as "perfect", but upon finding out there was an extended cut i was more than happy- how could something I already found good become better? Flushes of images of the LOTR extended cuts washed over me and couldn't wait- if Johnston put the effort in as Jackson did with his trilogy and made something amazing even better with excellent extended scenes, it would be truly great, especially since there were so many scenes for the film anyway which were cut due to the troubled history of the film and it's many changes. Well, having finally seen the extended Wolfman, I think it's good that it's almost an entire re-cut of the film (and almost completely different to the theatrical), but I don't think it actually works now and I actually didn't like it as much as the theatrical! (Though I did love the old-skool Universal logo at the start, which should have stayed in the theatrical, don't know why they didn't leave it in!)

I admire that they have tried to give the first half more weight but it actually works against the movie now, it's too boggy and heavy now, and dare I say- a little boring as well! It seems as if these scenes have just been shoved in there because of the complaints that the first half was too fast, but with little thought of pacing and direction. First half doesn't seem to go anywhere and is all over the place, it drags on too much and the extra scenes really do not add anything extra to the story or character relationships that the theatrical version didn't already do. We know there's something wrong in the house and that eventually Gwen and Larry feel for each other, but these do not need to be emphasised by scenes between them which drag on as they talk about, well, nothing in particular. Giving them more time together doesn't necessarily mean a relationship is strengthened, especially when they don't do much in those scenes.

Thankfully, more scenes regarding the backstory of the tragic Talbot family have been included

Just because there's more doesn't make it better. The theatrical did it and it was more concise and to the point- There's a death in the family, Gwen writes to Talbot and he comes down, meet and greet, and then we find the troubles and sinister background to the family. Done and done. The extended is pointless banter back and forth between the three principle characters (Gwen, Larry and John) which really doesn't give any weight to their relationships, in fact I think it worked better in the extended when it's all done faster because the major points are ticked, rather than it going on and on with no substance. The theatrical did it better- the scene by the lake where Larry teaches Gwen to through rocks was tiny but i think worked very well- a traditional little scene from the classic days of film where love can be sparked from the smallest of occurrences (just like in the original Wolfman and the flirting in the Antique Shop). But in the extended it seems that they want to give more substance to their relationship by putting them in more scenes together, but it doesn't work at all. The theatrical hits the notes better regarding them both.

I liked the scene on the train though where he gets his cane, that was great, And other small scenes of carnage and gore were good. It's a shame that we can't choose what scenes we'd like to view and what not to see with a special DVD/Blu-Ray feature, as i'd love to do my own personal cut of the film, especially with all those other extended and deleted scenes.

More scenes between Gwen and Laurence have also been added...but at what cost?

Other tiny scenes are okay but again not really needed (like the small shot of the CG werewolf at the start just before it roars into the camera- that was awful, why couldn't they have used a practical version instead of bad CG?). I was disappointed to see some of the other extended London Chase scenes cut out but upon viewing them in the deleted scenes section i was glad they weren't in the film as they were horrible! Lawrence (forgetting he's a monster) and casually walking going into the ballroom (where everyone mistakes him for a Halloween costume) and getting smitten and all puppy dog eyed over the singer because it reminds him of Gwen i guess, then causing rampage? Was that a parody joke scene or what? Completely did not fit. He should have barged in there and caused havoc, not walk in there calmly and have everyone think that it's a costume- completely does not work with the vibe of the film (who directed that, it was atrocious). The alternative endings i liked i guess, i thought it was cool that Larry kills Gwen but is still alive himself- but then the camera rushes towards his face and he turns to smile at the camera!? Again, was that a joke or what?

Benecio Del Toro and Rick Baker argue over which version of the film they thought was better- theatrical or extended?

Disappointed that these were not in the film but all for the better as the extended cut makes it longer than necessary. So anyway, after consideration i prefer the theatrical as it is faster and to the point, the pace has rhythm and it works better as a tighter film, not baggy and bloated with unnecessary scenes when those scenes already convey (more meaninglessly) that Larry and Gwen feel something for each other and that something bad happened between Larry and John. These were already shown perfectly in the theatrical, more subtlety of course but it worked better that way for me. Otherwise the extended version is just too long, and not evened out enough (too long and baggy in the first half because of the longer added scenes, resulting in the second half being too fast because it's relatively unchanged). It doesn't blend together as a whole, because now the film is longer with the drama and so needs more scenes of action (of which there really aren't many to begin with in the first place but that's fine for the theatrical) but now doesn't work when the extended cut is longer with the drama, now the action scenes are too little too late.

Unfortuneatly, Hugo Weaving's eccentric Inspector Abberline doesn't have as many scenes put in

More to the first half is of course a great idea, I just felt this extended cut went the wrong way about doing it with the extra scenes added in- there's too much of them which show too little, if you get what i mean. There's not enough substance in these scenes and not enough driving force. Havin Gwen come and see the performance and then tell him to come didn't work at all, it was forced, and the performances between both actors was dead, nothing there, and not convincing at all- it really was not needed as no spark is there; watch the scene again to see zero emotion. It should have been left out in favour of something else, something that was relavent and worked.

I'll have to read the novelization, i've heard that it's good and would love to see how a proper extended version would have worked.

Anyway, it's a long time i've been to this board but i did say i would come back upon seeing the extended! It wasn't as good as i had hoped and i'm slightly gutted, but it doesn't matter since i still love the theatrical and that's the version i will most probably always like. I'm glad that they have kept both versions on the Blu-Ray and DVD for future viewing and haven't automatically regarded the extended version as the "definitive" one now and completely disregarded the theatrical. The cinematic version is i think a lot better!

Review: The Expendables (Slyvester Stallone, 2010)

Monumental

Sylvester Stallone.
Jason Statham.
Jet Li.
Mickey Rourke.
Randy Couture.
Dolph Lundgren.
Eric Roberts.
Steve "Stone Cold" Austin.
Bruce Willis.
and Arnold Schwarzennegger.

This movie doesn't just have one action hero...it has them all. Seriously, the cast alone already thrusts the film to top class status. But does it deliver? HELL YES. This is the action movie like how I remember it...like what I grew up on...pure 80s style...no watered down action, no PC liberal bullcrap, no pussies- just in your face, ballsy, hardcore R-rated entertainment; macho middle-aged manly men kicking and shooting the crap out of everything they see. And I FUCKING LOVED IT!

Pros:

-Just the fact that you have all the top action stars in this and they all work really well together! Stallone may be in his 60s but he sure knows how to kick ass. He runs, dives, jumps, fights and shoots his way through terrifically paced action scenes- he looks amazingly fit for his age and can still show that he is one of the legends of the action genre. He proved to us with Rocky Balboa in 2006 that he's still got it, he cemented it with Rambo in 2008 and now, with The Expendables, he has earned his right to be at the top. Welcome back!

-Excellent action scenes, well choreographed and intense with hardcore gore and carnage- with the finale being one of the most badass showdowns i've seen in a long time.

-Bare minimum CGI which was great for a film these days

-Kickass score by Brian Tyler.

-Old skool 80s style action dialogue with quoteable lines! Some people won't get it- the rest will love it. Just the kind of stuff we grew up on!

-Great relationships between the characters and each one being cool. Lundgren was my favourite along with Crewes. Steve Austin was also great!

-The Arnie cameo was just brilliant- easily one of the most memorable and now iconic scenes ever done in an action film. Just the fact that you have two action legends trying to one up each other was loveable and hilarious, it was a crowd pleaser and the whole audience loved it. The film would a 10/10 from me just for this scene! It was like Sonic and Mario being in the same game for the first time- a truly magical moment. Willis is also excellent here.

-It's more than just an action film- it is also surprisingly deep with some good drama elements and good performances- Micky Rourke telling us his past was actually quite touching.

-All in all a celebration of the action genre and a film for the guys!



Cons:

Shaky cam- a little too much, but it's not as bad as the Bourne movies. You can see what is happening but i still wish it was not in here.

-CGI blood and gore. I don't like it, but it's here. Thankfully it's very minimum. Some of it looks fake...but at the end of it, i didn't care...because the action scenes were so badass!

-It's a little slow at times when the action takes a break and there were
editing issues regarding this. It's good to have some drama in it but at times
it went on for a bit too long. But i'm glad it's there because it's a nice juxtaposition from that intense action scenes, even though sometimes it doesn't work that well and goes on a bit as it tries to take itself a bit too "seriously".

-Some of the interaction between the characters is hit and miss. You have to be in the right mood for it..but i liked it as i was in a great mood.

So love it or hate it- this film was unashamed in what it was- not only was it a great action film that bought balls back to the genre but it was also pretty deep with a message as well. Good fun on one side, non-PC ethics on the other.

Thank you Sly for bringing guts back to the fleeting action
movie! This was a dream movie that i have longed for since I was a child. Stallone proves once again that he is an 80s action God, and he has finally bought balls back to the action movie with this epic beast of a film. The boys are back in town...and it's about time!

10/10

Predators: A Fanboy Rant

A poor retread and an utterly wasted opportunity

So Predators is finally here, was it worth the wait? As a huge Predator fanboy, I have been waiting years for a "Predator 3". After I found out that Robert Rodriguez, one of my favourite directors, was going to take the helm, I was very intruiged, despite his intentions being less than stellar (he didn't like Predator 2 which spurred him on to write a treatment for a new Predator film, which I am not happy about becuase Predator 2 is awesome). Then, taking a step back from directing, he decided to get Nimrod Antal to direct for him (another decision I was not happy with as Nimrod had 2 movies behind him, one of them decent, a Hungarain thriller called Control, and the other an American horror called Vacancy, which is one of the worst films i've ever had to endure). Thus, things started to look from good, to bad...

The trailers looked good and the premise, whilst nothing special at all, was sound. The intention was to go back to the roots and bring an 80s style action film with minimal gloss; raw and gritty. Some artistic decisions made me grimace such as shunning Stan Winston Studios yet again (why ignore the studio that created the original creature?) but bringing in a studio which had people who worked on the original movie was I guess the next best shot, especially considering they will be using one of the original moulds for a special appearance of the originally designed Predator (dubbed "Jungle" or in this film, "Classic".) Not getting Alan Silvestri to do the score he created for the first 2 films was again a downer, but then John Debney promised fans that they were in for a treat. It was a 50/50 movie- could be great, could be bad, if anything the premise was to make something with integrity and something better than the AVP films- it could not be that hard. If anything, it would bring respect back to the Predator franchise which had become lost of the years. So, with trepidation as well as excitement at the thought of seeing a brand new Predator film on the big screen, I awaited with baited breath. Here is what follows: a 2 part analysis of the film; a simple breakdown, and then an in-depth strip; behold, it' not pretty, as if you know me by know, you'll know that I absoloutly hated this film. Note: I use a lot of lingo and fan speak which only people familair with the Predator franchise will understand, so if you don't understand that, then tough! Oobviously I will do a normal review of the film at one point, but here is a long analysis of what I thought of thisgarbage.

Part 1: The Minimised Breakdown:

Liked:

-The first half is excellent. It starts off well, constant action.
-The Preddogs scene is awesome, mad and brutal creatures, excellent action and CGI, good designs.
-The characters are well done, Brody did a good job which surprised everyone, everyone else is good and memorable.
-Good dialogue- to the point, humorous where it counted, did the job, very 80s.
-Funny humour, i was laughing where i was supposed to.
-Noland is awesome, funny to watch and my favourite character
-Planet looks great for what it is (a simple jungle), cinematography is good, very creepy atmosphere.
-Good gore, violence, funny harsh language
-Interesting mythos that i liked, the clan/race war is a good idea..however...

Hated:

-Second half completly ruins it, it turns into a big action mess which ruined the set up of the first half, which in turn made me hate the whole movie.
-The Preds looked like crap (fat, bulky morons with bland designs), acted like crap (idiots in
monster suits) and killed off in crap ways (it's like AVP again). No original sounds or anything. If I come to see a Predator film i want to see cool, badass Preds. All i got was pussified dumb ones that died cheap deaths. And they were supposed to be "Super"? Fail.
-Cloaked Preds look even worse, horrible CGI and animation (why didn't they do it the traditional way?)
- TOO many goddamned homages to the first film! Too constant, just annoying, every single second a homage comes! It felt like this was a fan remake of the original film. Why? It doesn't stop, not even in the credits.
-uninspired music (imitating Silvestri 95%, and the rest was garbage...it's cool to listen to for the first half an hour, then it got very repetitive, a pale copy)
-Classic Predator was a spit in the face to fans, an insult, shameful. Pointless cameo.
-Some of the major fights were horrible and forgettable, which was dissapointing- Hanzo vs Super Pred was laughably bad, the Classic vs Black fight was atrocious and the final fight was even worse.
-Adrien Brody thought he was Arnie in the latter half, and it sucked. Brody is NOT Arnie, but in the last part, he acts like it.
-I don't like the idea that the planet is to make the Preds better hunters.

As a casual action film for fans of the genre- 6/10

As a Predator film and my personal take on it- 2/10. I hated it. I fucking hated it.

----------------------------------------------

Part 2: The Long Fanboy Rant

The first half was excellent, don't get me wrong, but it's exactly like it was in the script, and i loved the first half of the script. The actors are excellent, the action scenes are good (the clips we've seen on the net have been heavily cut, just as i expected), its constant action as soon as it starts. The directing was good, nothing wrong there, i'm not going to blame Nimrod because for the most part he does a good job- i was never bored, it doesn't lag at all, which is great.

The dog scenes are awesome, they are brutal, fantastic creatures! Much better than I expected, the CGI is also very good on them. The music so far is bang on cue. They set up the characters very well, long and hard and we invest in them, and it's excellent- Brody is fantastic as the leader, Isabelle is great, even Stanz and Nikolai. Its very tense and suspenseful, jungle is great, scary and mysterious. Trejo is good but only here for a short time but i'm glad he's there.

The mysterious other hunted creature which hunts them is funny because it's a homage to that shitty original design for the Predator (the Van Damme one), you don't see it close up but you know it's the same one when you glimpse it and it made me laugh because this creature acts so dumb and gets killed fast, just like it should because it's a dumb, stupid looking design. But as they are setting up traps for it, it's another big homage to when they are setting traps in the first one (yawn).

Then Noland comes in, and he's the best character in the film by far- very unexpected (you will know when you see the film, hes nothing like in the clips), basically he's gone a little crazy being there so long, an it's excellent to see him act this way, i was genuinely laughing at everything he said. Good acting performances from everyone, and excellent dialogue, even good humour as well which i was laughing at. His base is full of little references again, spot the details. And he talks about the mythos, which is interesting and great, it doesn't contradict but it adds a new dimension- just some small new info, not too much, that keeps in tone with the original Predator series, still keeps it a mystery, but one more new slice of it. I liked that.

But then after the Noland camp attack, it's starts to go downhill, and i felt that it just ruined what the first part set up so damn well.

First, you notice that the homages are off the scale, just too many of them and its getting very annoying. It not only homages the first movie but blatantly copies scenes and dialogue from them too goddamn much! Even scenes from Predator 2 are in here (i'm happy about that, but not needed!). You realise that the music isn't that special after all- it's just an imitation of Silvestri, and it starts to sound very cheap, and forced. Silvestri did the first theme in P1, then in P2 he took the theme and gave it a latino drum vibe, but here, Debney doesn't give it his own thing, it's just copying Silvestri's first theme with nothing new added, and it gets annoying (wait for the killer part where he does add something new though- it's facepalm moment).

Can you say HOMAGE? This film evidently doesn't know when to stop.

The Falcon isn't even seen properly, you see it from the back as it's flying, and that's it. Nothing from the front, so it looks like a flying robotic boomerang. So it's not a creature, it's more of a tool/weapon, so it's not bad. But the POV is horrible for it, it's like all purple.

The Super Preds look like crap, i never liked their design from the start, and here it does nothing new to improve it, if you didn't like them in the clips then you will not like them at all here as it's the same thing- i hated everytime they are on screen, i hate Black and his stupid goofy looking Jaw mask, they are fat and slow and the suit performance is atrocious. No cool poses, no good movement, just standing like hunched hulks. The POV is also the one we see in the trailers as well (looking at Mombasa), so if you don't like the new style then you're stuck. The Falconer/"Batman" Pred was shit, hell he even had a vision which tracked blood and pheromones like the Batman Arkham Asylum game! Dog Handler was good in parts and i guess the best performer, when he was walking in one scene he looked badass, and Black walks good if he's seen from the back, but otherwise the suit performance on the whole was lacking and inexperienced, very AVP sad to say! Ian Whyte is still the only person who has succeeded KPH, and Wolf still stands head and shoulders above these Preds, so it sucks that they didn't get him. So AVPR still has the best Pred we've seen since City Hunter, in my view, and so far McTiernan, Hopkins and the Strauses are the only people who have been able to photograph and film the Predator creature well so they look cool. Here, they look dodgy and silly, people in rubber monster suits, just like they did in AVP, just like what you are NOT supposed to do.

Crap

Everytime they are cloaked it also looks crap becuase it's blatant CGI. Why didn't they do the old skool guy in red suit, and put the camo effect in post? The CGI sticks out too much, and it looks totally fake, the CG animation is stiff and robotic.

Everyone (including me) was going on about Hanzo being badass- in truth he is wasted and a poor, unneeded imitation of Billy. His fight is rubbish and completely forgettable. The Pred acts horrible in it! And the sword fight suffers because of this, becuase the Pred is just waddling around like a fatass around Hanzo, the whole thing is cringe worthy to look at. And then the fight is over, as quickly as it began- just forgettable, with bad camera angles and choreography.

Classic Predator- arrghhh, completely and utterly wasted!! The face looks great, and the first time we see him is awesome, and when Royce frees him it's wicked because Classic doesn't give a fck and hates Royce, so it's cool so don't worry, no AVP style team up shit here....(but then follows another homage of the first movie again...), and it messes up from here even more than before. The fight comes with Classic vs Black- and it's horrible! First the Predator theme with a ROCK remix plays when Classic gears up (yeah, a rock remix....cheesy and silly and not in a good way), what the hell were they thinking? Okay, so the music has now been updated for new fans and it kicks in hard first with Classic suiting up- some people will like it, some people will cringe like me. And the suit up scene doesn't even last long, like 5 seconds. No POV is seen for Classic either (shame). The fight is atrocious, Black performance is rubbish, Classic is okay, but as soon as they start to show a bit more of him, he gets owned- and that pissed me off. They focus on him gearing up , and then 30 seconds later, he's dead. And when he gets owned, you're gonna get pissed and angry, the most beloved character gets dumped hard, it's shameful.

Waste

Black taking his mask off during this fight- just horrid, it looks like a smiley happy kid, not a badass in anyway. The face just doesn't work on screen there, and the actor just shaked his head as he screams and it reminded me of Scar from AVP (i was so gutted). And then he puts his mask back on again 2 seconds later, done. What, that was it!? I guess it's okay not to have the whole "taking off the mask" set up, but the screentime of it unmasked could have been much better.

Then there's the Isabelle and Edwin finale part, if you've read the script then it plays out exactly how you imagined it, generic and dull, with the camera being blurred because she's been drugged.

But the facepalm part is when Royce goes to fight Black- it's truly horrible because Royce is topless, covered in mud, running around with a stick with a flame on it and shouting "come here, kill me, i'm here"- i'm like WTF!!, why the HELL are they just imitating Arnie so badly!? Rodriguez said you can't compete with Arnie, but here is Adrien Brody doing exactly the same fucking thing, and it disgusted me. True that he is only doing what Isabelle told him to with the mud because she knew about the first film events but the "homage" here is so much that you just facepalm because they actually went there and did it. Royce fucks Black up bigtime, complete with fast cuts and blows, i hate how Royce is all "Arniefied", but i'm glad to see that abomination called Black get destroyed, because the design was terrible (though i must say his final look before he cops it was decent).

Ridiculous

The film ends on an underwhelming Hollywood note, but again they piss me off with the end credits music (Long Tall Sally, why? Just not needed, just thrown in there to please fans). I'd rather it kept out please, so again they get me angry. Silvestri's normal theme is in the credits, and i'm glad, because he should not be involved in the film and it was good that he didn't do the score because this film doesn't deserve him in my opinion, it's not a "classic" Predator flick.

It's not the Predator films of old, this is a new style for new folks. It tries to keep it old skool, but it's all been updated. It's a solid action film and i liked it on that level, and it tries it's damned hardest to be a Predator movie and on the outside it is, but i felt it didn't cut it as one. It looks and feels like one, but the Predators themselves were horrible, and if that's the case for me then it's failed as a Predator film. I came to see Preds and we get half-assed, poorly designed ones that are rubbish. The mythos are great behind them, but the Predators and Pred action was no good. So it's a fail for me.

Though acting and cast was a good thing..for the most part

So, as a stand alone action movie it was awesome, and i'll be honest, i was tremendously entertained for the first half. But the second half comes in and messed it all up, and you feel like you've been duped, and i felt very dissapointed and angry.

So, really, the movie is a 6/10 as an action if i was doing a proper review, because casuals will like it and it's a good night out, and for what it is they tried to do a good job, and i do see the positives (yes it's better than AVP, but also just as bad). It's fun, tense and suspenseful and non-stop action all the way, well acted, good dialogue, gory action monster movie that tries it's best, so it will please fans of the genre. But as i said i feel it's a film that will either be loved or loathed.

But my personal opinion is that it left a bad taste in my mouth, and the rubbish second half messed the whole experience up for me, especially being a huge fan of Predator. So i personally rate it 2/10, because as a Predator movie, it simply did not deliver. I came to see my favourite creature, and what i got was badly designed, badly performed rubber pieces of crap in an otherwise well made, fun (albeit homage-filled) action film.

The original is still the best, and P2 is still the best sequel. Preds was fun, but it fell to pieces, sadly. It works for what it is but i just fucking hated the choices they made in it. So pat on the back RR and Nimrod for trying, too bad you messed it up Still, at least it's a step in the right direction, even if it's not that far ahead.

6/10 as a casual.

2/10 as a hardcore Predator fanboy.

Review: The Wolfman (2010) (Theatrical version)

Everything you could possibly want in a werewolf film!

It was everything i wanted it to be, and so much more.

I'll tell you what, i went in with the lowest expectations because i'd read a dozen or so reviews including the Empire one which bashed it, i thought it would suck and sat there ready to cuss it silly. But as soon as the Universal logo came up in black and white and the original's wolfsbane poem is shown to set the scene, i felt a tingle down my spine and got goosebumps, and i think "hell yes, this is going to be an old-fashioned traditional horror movie from the good old days". And i wasn't wrong in my opinion, it delivered in every respect.

Acting was awesome; Del Toro was great as the tragic Lawrence Talbot, Blunt was cool (and gorgeous) Weaving played an absolute badass but the real star was Anthony Hopkins who played his part really well; creepy, disturbing and twisted. Special effects were fantastic (kudos Rick Baker, again!)- make-up looked amazing and is the real star; you know it's a man in a costume but they made it look fantastic with lighting and atmosphere that you believe it's real. CGI also was used only when necessary (thankfully most of it is all practical effects!), the creature looked great on screen, movement and creature performance were brilliant, lots of care and attention to detail to make it like a proper wild beast. The visuals are AMAZING, everything is so stylish, moody and artistic- landscapes, atmosphere and scenery are dripping with beautiful Gothic grandeur, every scene was a piece of art. Story was engrossing from start to finish. Action sequences were BADASS, perfectly paced and choreographed (director Joe Johnston is very good at this and here he proves it yet again). The R rating really helped, they made the creature into a proper hardcore monster; ripping, gouging and mauling left right and centre; it was truly one to fear, and it really was as there's plenty of shocks and jump scares. Music was fantastic as usual by Danny Elfman.

To be honest, i can't find a single major thing wrong with the film as this is exactly what a werewolf film should be. Minor gripes are some CGI did look off, but i didn't care at all. This was a truly amazing film which harks back to the classic days of Gothic horror/ monster films, and an awesome remake that actually surpasses the original. The problems and delays with the film regarding production were non-existent to me, i really couldn't have realised that the film had so much stuff cut out. To me everything worked out great.

All in all, it's a fantastic creature feature, a superb high class Gothic horror flick but all in all- an awesome tribute to the classic horror films of the 30s/40s/50s/60s and 70s (it's got a very distinct "Hammer Horror" style, which I loved as i'm a huge fan of these, having grown up on them).

Of course, the film is a more character-driven drama (as it rightfully should be regarding the original), and a really well done one at that...but when the monster is unleashed, it does so in such a spectacular style you can't help but relish in the mayhem that ensues. Every scene with the creature was brilliant, and as a monster fan i was loving every second of it. A film by horror fans to horror fans. I enjoyed myself immensely and can't wait to see it again.

10/10. An instant classic. Werewolves are cool again and they're back with style!

Review: Creation (John Amiel, 2009)

Excellent performances and a touching story

Wow! Fantastic film in my opinion, i wasn't expecting it to be this good! I was captivated from start to finish- it's a very well made and educational film that really gives us a fascinating insight into the trials that Charles Darwin (Paul Bettany) had to go through in order to convey his ideas to the world, chronicling his life as he writes "Origin of the Species"; fighting both personal demons as well as the ignorant society of the time in order to do so. He struggles hard with his mind, body and soul as personal matters get to breaking point and even his family seems to slip away...whilst the rest of the world stand against him as he knows that his findings literally shake the very foundations of their lives, culture and meaning of existence. It's a subtle movie (not over-exaggerated in any way in that typical Hollywood way, this is a BBC produced British film) yet thankfully very powerful in meaning and this is thanks to the amazing well directed scenes as well as the superb acting by Bettany. Jennifer Connelly, (playing his wife Emma), acts as more of a light supporting role but I did enjoy her in this and she's as good as to be expected as always, her chemistry alongside her husband was definitely strong and endearing, you could feel the connection, and their real-life husband/wife bond definitely shines through their performances. But the star of the show is definitely Bettany and he does a brilliant job, a very touching performance- i both understood and sympathised with him as he battled his own degrading health and impending "insanity" to try to understand what he has uncovered and come to terms with what it all really is and means as he found his thinking contradict his feelings, and found himself losing it all including his wife who of course was a firm believer in religion and a strict Christian whilst he was in the realm of science, two worlds which could not see eye to eye, so their relationship was at stake too.

Anyway- a really very good, well acted emotional drama and dare I say I did shed a tear during the tragic climax which was truly heartbreaking as well as beautifully poignant and moving. The film is symbolic and very intellectually artistic as well, in fact i can't wait to watch it again as there was a lot to take in first time round which i missed. Easily one of the best films i've seen this year.

8/10

Review: Cloverfield (Matt Reeves, 2008)

An enjoyable and intense roller-coaster ride

A modern day take on the old-fashioned Godzilla monster movie, the film centres around a group of friends in New York trying to survive as some unknown entity attacks the city, all shot through one of the character's hand-held video camera. Whilst thoroughly entertaining I still had a few issues with the film.

It tries it's damn hardest to break barriers and not come across as a typical Hollywood movie (and I must admit, for the majority it achieves this) yet at times it still felt awfully predictable and cliché in that traditional Hollywood way. It sounds Hollywood and acts Hollywood, it just doesn't look it thanks to its innovative (yet some could argue unoriginal) use of a hand held camera held by one of the characters to show exactly what's going on. They, like us, have no idea, and we only know as much as them throughout the whole movie, which perfectly adds to the tension and suspense. The way things are revealed are done in a completely realistic way as well, which further add to the effect.

Writer JJ Abrahms, as he does with hit series Lost, keeps the tension flowing without giving anything away- there are no scientists who explain what is going and why, we, like the characters, are there for the ride. And once it starts, it is powerfully relentless and undeniably intense. Like I said before the film does suffer from its fair share of clichés (the cast ultimately come off as the cast of Friends stuck in a monster movie with at times dire and cringe worthy dialogue) but try to see passed it and enjoy the movie (alas I couldn't which made me write a whole other piece on this film where I rant on what I didn't like).

Whilst neither original or new in it's ideas and concepts (the catastrophes predominantly runs parallel to 9/11 and terrorist attacks which is the fear comes from as it all seems just a bit too real, and considering the whole movie is shot through a hand held camera is blatantly similar to the infamous and iconic footage we are all familiar with regarding the WTC attacks so for me this movie just came off as a blatant exercise in post-9/11 terrorist xenophobia just like Spielberg did with his War of the Worlds remake), it is still a very well made that is original in the way it is executed, which will keep you literally on the edge of your seat till the very last second. Shocks come thick and fast and there is suspense aplenty, all adding up to a very good nights worth of entertainment.

A somewhat unique though highly entertaining attempt at trying something new with the traditional "giant mosnter attacks city" Godzilla theme.

7/10

Review: Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton, 2010)

All visuals, no heart and soul. A wasted premise.

What a fucking peice of shit.

Seriously, it was a complete mess. I don't know what the hell Tim Burton was thinking...it was all over the place, but most annoyingly- it was just so fucking boring! Absolutely nothing happens in it, there's no plot- it's just a series of random sequences joined together rather flimsily because Alice can't remember anything on her return to Wonderland (it's not based on the books, it's just Burton's own thing, acting as a semi-sequel to past events, very reminiscent of Spielberg's Hook from 1992, where a grown up Peter Pan can't remember anything about Neverland), all topped with a generic battle just to finish it off (one we have all seen a thousand times before done better, and one that wasn't needed in an Alice in Wonderland film at all, probably put in to compete with other recent fantasy films).

It's a completly wasted premise, it should have been amazing because the universe is fantastic, but it's all just thrown out the window in favour of visuals and nothing else. The design and costumes are of course stunning, simply outstanding work aesthetically all round but unfortunatly there's no atmosphere to work with it, it's like an empty fashion show, all green screen shallowness. The computer graphics were sadly weak (looked like very dated Dreamworks CG from 2001, think Shrek 1), the acting was completely bland (Mia who played Alice had one expression throughout the whole film and can't act at all, and I don't even know what the hell Depp was doing- it wasn't funny or inspiring, just a mess of a performance which was really sad considering he is normally good at everything he does. Really wrong direction and idea.). Best thing about it was Helena who is pretty good as the Queen of Hearts but's its a repetitive shtick that gets old after the first 5 minutes you see it, she basically does th same thing over and over. Even the music was generic and completely forgettable, it was just a few notes played over and over which sounded exactly like Pirates of the Caribbean, again very disappointing, Elfman failed here. There were also some other very cringe worthy moments where i had to turn away and face-palm hard....gosh, it really was bad.

All in all- it just wasn't entertaining- as a kid's movie it was boring and overlong and as an adult's film it was just bland and predictable. Only the colourful art and 3D saved it...but even then, it was nothing special, it's a glossy CGI extravaganza to cover up all the weaknesses and flaws. There's no magic, no heart, no soul. Burton has turned into George Lucas, and this is the proof.

This is definitely one of Tim's worst movies, I mean Planet of the Apes was bad but at least I enjoyed myself there becuase it was so dumb! Simply put, with all the talents involved, this was a poor film and a really wasted premise. I actually wanted to walk out half way as it was so boring. When it ended I exited the theatre just pissed off; pissed off at how much , though i did like the Avril Lavigne theme song at the end...yeah, when you come out of a movie praising the end credits and Avril Lavigne's song, you know something is very, very wrong.

Started off as an 8/10, then 7, then 6- but the last half and ending was so generic, i think its more than deserving of a 5/10, and that's just for the visuals. The worst thing is i went in with no expectations at all, and even then i was disappointed.

"Meh"- the one word i can describe this film with. A completely underwhelming, forgettable vision. A sad day for all Burton and Lewis Carrol fans.

Film Review: Avatar (James Cameron, 2009)

Well, what can I say? This is what cinema is all about.

Visually it is utterly spectacular, and worth the price of admission alone just to see a 3D movie done right. This time it wasn't a gimmick, this time it wasn't tacked on- this time it was for real- completely 100% immersive, I felt like I was in the movie with the actors, on Pandora- and that has never happened before at all with a film (other films all have layers which make it 3D, not here. Here it's all a seamless blend, it all works as one). It wasn't just things popping out at you, but you very much being there...and that has to be seen to be believed. All other 3D movies basically all look like sh!t compared to this one, because this is how it is done. You have never seen anything like this before.

As well as the 3D, it was the CGI- i know the term "photoreal" has been thrown about a lot regarding this film, but after seeing it on the big screen- i completely believed that it was all real. There were some things that looked off (mainly some creatures), but 95% of the time it was all seamless, you were just there, and you didn't scrutinise any of it. Pandora was stunning. Cameron has almost shot it like a nature documentary, and in that sense it is spectacular, just a completely plausible environment, it feels real and looks real. And in 3D- jaw dropping. And i'm not even going to go on about Pandora at night-time which again has to be seen to be believed, as the flora and fauna all give off a dazzling array of beautiful neon lights. The Na'vi are just incredible, and i'm not just talking about Jake and Neytiri- but every single one of them. They all have their individual personalities, they are all different; expressing emotion very clearly- and considering there are literally hundreds of them, this is no mean feat- but they nailed it here; I even tried to
study each and every one as much as I could to try and catch out some background one which didn't do anything (this usually happens with films with many CGI characters all at once)- but they ALL had soul, each was unique which is terrific attention to detail. Emotion capture- WOW. This, to me, was the best parts of the film- when Jake and Neytiri are just talking, interacting, it's jaw dropping, and the little things really stand out- they looked and acted like real beings, i could not get over that, i was speechless. I could watch that all day and still be amazed- i thought Gollum and Kong were amazing but this is just on another level entirely. And to keep that high standard up throughout the whole film was amazing (in LOTR Gollum's standard drops sometimes), but not here.

The visuals are impressive and easily the most groundbreaking aspect of the film

Story- yes, it's cliche. But it's gloriously, magnificently, entertainingly cliche. Yes, it's Dances with Wolves and FernGully, but they are just takes on the age old Pocahontas story (of which Disney also did), and here, Cameron is doing the tale again for the new generation to show us just how relevant it is right now in this present day and age; the complete history of human/western colonization in 3 hours- and it works, just as it always has done. Of course we've seen many of these things happen before in movies, but the way it is presented here is still darn entertaining, not to mention completely engrossing. Cameron may not be a great writer but he's a damn good storyteller- just watch how he executes scenes we have seen a million times before in a hard-hitting fresh new style. Scenes that, in the hands of a lesser director would be completely laughable and show up as lame, but in the hands of Cameron turn out to be amazingly well played, stunning to look at. Put on top of that the fantastic performances (especially Saldana, Lang and even Rodriguez) and you are literally enthralled, on the edge of your seat, in the zone.

Zoe Saldana gives an inspirational performance as Neytiri

Characters are memorable, and dialogue is too- i'm not going to bitch about duff lines or generic characters because I honestly did not have a problem with any of them- this is pure Hollywood cinema; it's not trying to be clever nor superior to the classic films we grew up on. People had the same problem with the lines/characters in Jurassic Park, Titanic- I didn't see a problem and unless you are looking to nitpick, you won't here either as it's of the same caliber. And if you know Cameron's movies you know what to expect- and let me tell you it's full of memorable lines that won't be quickly forgotten. I enjoyed all the talking here more than the actual action scenes, to be honest- simply because I loved the characters and how they played off each other.

Stephen Lang plays the memorable, though cliche, villain of the piece

Action scenes are unbelievably spectacular, done by a true master. When it kicks off, it really kicks off and all of a sudden you realise your brain has been corrupted by the crap you have forced to watch from Micheal Bay and Stephen Sommers, even George Lucas of recent years. Forget them. Their stuff does not even hold a candle here. What we get here is expertly paced, brilliantly choreographed and superbly directed action scenes that actually evoke real emotion. Not just "this is so damn cool", but sadness, awe-inspiring euphoria and a sense of overall beauty- as well as anger when the bad guys come into play. Not since Peter Jackson's Kong and LOTR have I been in awe of action scenes. I'm glad he can still deliver. Man, what a combination those two would make if they ever made a movie. And the fact that none of the CGI seems to faulter at all even where there is a ton of sh!t going on screen is another testament to how revolutionary this film is.

The star of the show is Pandora itself and it's jaw-dropping inhabitants- beautiful by day, but ny night takes a whole new appearance

All in all, it's a grand spectacle of a movie with a wonderfully simple but completely engrossing from start to finish. It's not perfect by any means, as I think it could have done with at least 45 minutes more just to flesh out backstories (Jake mainly) and even characters- but as it stands it's a fantastic cinematic experience overall. And it has to be seen in the cinema, because this is a movie done for that medium. It's not going to work at home, sadly, or if it does, it will be a completely cut-down experience. So everyone waiting for the DVD/Blu-Ray is at fault, because the are truly missing out on a new and original experience. Cameron said he wanted to make a film that would bring people back to the cinema and this is it. Believe me, his is totally it.

All manner of beasties live on this new world- so many in fact that an entire enclyclopedia was bought out for the film showcasing every detail!

Is it a classic film? Only time will tell. Is it perfect? Not so. But is it a revolutionary film in more ways than one, that will change the face of cinema technologically? Definitely, and in that respect Cameron delivered. I simply loved this film.

The original King Kong got dissed for story and acting etc when it was released too. But in time people saw how revolutionary it was, how it was a great example of just pure classic escapist cinema. Same with Jurassic Park. I think the same can be said with Avatar. A cinema experience you have to witness for yourself, as it will change it forever. Don't miss it!

So for now- I give the 3D version 10/10. It's what cinema is all about.

Notes: I've not yet seen the 2D one but I think the definitive way to watch this was 3D.

SPOILIER: (but not a plot one) One of my gripes is that I regret seeing any/all the featurettes, trailers and TV spots- because all of them put together make up at least 30-40% of the film! The first 1/2 hour or so is everything we've already scene via internet clips and whatnot...I was gutted. Oh well, next time