Worst Star Wars lines ever

Okay, I love Star Wars. But I HATE the prequels. One of the reasons, okay one of the main reasons, is the dialogue. Out of all the problems with these prequels (along the directing, acting, story, plot holes etc) it's been the dialogue that has been mostly criticised- by fans and the general public alike- and it's not a big surprise why. Lucas is just a weak script writer and whilst his ideas are great his dialogue isn't- what he thinks sounds good on paper does not mean it comes out good on screan, especially when he directs his actors poorly too.

Here's my personal collection of, in my opinion, the worst lines in the SW preqeuls- which weren't very hard to find at all (in no order, though at some point I will put them in order of crap to worst):

1) Nute Gunray: Shoot them, or something!

2) Little Anakin: "Are you an angel?" (Oh dear god...)

3) Anakin: "YIPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!" (my ears!)

4) Captain Tarpals: "Ouch time." (he's a captain of an army and he talks like a fucking baby, stupidest thing iv'e ever heard)

5) Gungan:"Jar-Jar, usa the booba"
Jar Jar: "Mesa no hava da booba" (seriously, WTF?)

6) Gungan: "Jar-Jar, your in big doodoo this time!" (...)

7) (after Anakin has just explained that he killed all the sandpeople, women and children in blind range with no remorse) Padme: "To be angry is to be human.":.... Is that the reaction one would show when someone commits mass murder and runs amok????!!

8) Anakin: "General Grievous, I thought you'd be....taller..." (Grevious is like nearly 8 feet tall...way to go Anakin).

9) Obi Wan: "Did you press the stop button?"
Anakin-: "No, did you?" (If Obi wan had just asked, obviously he wouldn't have been the one who pressed it. Really stupid bit of dialouge)

10) Yoda: "Not if anything to say about it...I HAVE!" (Some things Yoda says are so stupid.)

11) Obi:"The sith are evil!"
Ani:"In my opinion the jedi are evil!"
Obi: "Well then you are lost" (well gee, thanks for your help Obi, it's like you just gave up helping him on the spot!)

12) Anakin: "If your'e not with me, then your'e my enemy!!!"(can it get any more patheically cliche?)

13) Grievous: "Activate ray-shields..."
*a scene showing some shields coming on* next scene:
Anakin: "Ray-shields!" (well thanks for that Anakin, as if the audience were too stupid to understand that they were ray sheilds having just seen them come on after Grevious just bloody TOLD US!)

14) Anakin: "You will trrrrryyyyyyyyyy!" (yawn)

15) C3PO: "This is such a drag, help i've fallen and can't get up, i'm quite beside myself" (really, what an idiot, and what a lame line of "comedy")

16) Obi:"I saw him...killing...younglings!" (Younglings? LMAO- Lucas needs a dictionary and a thesaurus too if he's coming up with stupid words like that)

17) Anakin: "I killed them. ALL OF THEM. And not just the men......but the women....and the children too! I HATE THEM!!" (LOL, hilarious)

18) Anakin:"They're ANIMALS, and I slaughtered them...... like ANIMALS!"

19) Darth Sidious: "POWER!! UNLIMTED POWER!!! (I expected him to say "It's OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!")

20) "Army or not... You must realise ... You are DOOMED!!!" (if he's going that far AT LEAST finish it off with an evil laugh at the end)

21) Sidious: "No no no,.... YOU.. will DIE!!" (honestly, is Lucas mentally 5 years old or what?)

22) Shmi Skywalker: "Ani? Ani? you are so handsome. I love... i-i-i lo... i loo00-- uuuuurrgghhhhhh!" (no comment...)

23) Anakin:"Do you like sand? I hate sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." (-is this shit for real? Yes, unfortuenatly it is)

24) Yoda has also been guilty of many stupid sounding lines becuase of the way he speaks, such as "Around the survivors a perimeter create."(completly the dumbest thing iv'e ever heard, alien or not). In fact most of the aliens in the SW prequels have such stupid lines of gibberish (coupled with their weird voices) that Gollum sounds the sanest out of all of them. Jar Jar Binks is mostly to blame here with his nonsense talk Eg Phantom Menace: "Oh mooie, mooie, I love you! No, no, mesa stay. Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Meesa your humble servant." "My tongue is heavy" "The queen is being pretty nice meesa dinks...pretty hot" ""Weesa going hoooooome!" ......Absoloutly fucking atrocious.

25) Mostly however it's Anakin's and Padme's lines which are soo cheesy and cringeworthy it's like a parody of the worst romantic film you've ever seen. Even Entertainment Weekly also accucsed Ep3 of having the 15th worst line in the history of cinema, with Padme's "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo".

26) Anakin:"I've been dying a little bit every day since you came back in my life..." (cringe)

27) Padme:"You're going down a path I can't follow. You're breaking my heart." (cringe x2)

28) Padme:"I truly, deeply, love you..." (how about:" I love you?" What's wrong with that, eh? Simple...and NORMAL)

29) Padme:"I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul; tormenting me." (cringe, worst romantic dialogue ever)

30) Anakin:"Believe me. I wish that i could just wish away my feelings" (cringe, Dear God)

31) Anakin: You are so beautiful!
Padme: It's only because I'm so in love . . .
Anakin: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.
Padme: So love has blinded you?
Anakin: Well, that's not exactly what I meant . . .
Padme: But it's probably true! [[.............I giveup. Taxi!]]

32) Padme: It has been far too long, Master Kenobi. Ani? My goodness you've grown.
Anakin:So have you. Grown more beautiful, I mean. Well, for a Senator I mean. (worst pick up line ever).

33) Darth Vader: "I HATE YOU!!!!" (lol, emo)

The prequels are universally regarded as having the worst dialouge in the SW saga- Lucas can't write for sh!t. I know SW isn't supposed to be Shakespeare, but come on, its not meant to be total laughable bullshit either. At lease the originals are fun and don't take themselves too seriously- the prequels do, and they fail hard. Just so bad! Maybe if it was in a different langauge it would tolerable...expecially the Anakin and Padme dialogue- it's just way too cheesy to be heard in English....hmm.. I should probably look for a Hindi dub of them, at least the romantic lines would work better and becom more tolerable to watch....no-one makes cheesy romance sound classy as good as Bollywood!

10 Reasons why Jurassic Park rocks

yep

The film IS a masterpeice, an action-adventure classic and one of the if not THE greatest dinosaur movie ever made, and there's nothing delusional about the statement whatsoever!! If Star Wars can get into IMDB's top 250 then so can JP and it's blasphemous that it hasn't already. It's impact on popular culture is pretty much the same.

Further to that, I give you my personal reasons on why the film is regarded as a classic and why it's my favourite film of all time:

1)ILM's revoloutionary CGI. They've only dated slightly in the 15 years since the film's release, and that really is something. However some people including myself still think this film still has some of the best showcase of CGI to date, and i would definitly use it as an example of truly photo-realistic computer imagery next to Gollum, Kong and Davy Jones. I put JP's CGI in the top 3 best CGI of all time, if not number 1.

2)Stan Winston Studio's Animatronics- a life size T-Rex which looks, acts and feels realistic, life-size Velociraptors which move and act with grace and realism- everything that Winston provided was sheer excellence, and truly pioneering.

3)John William's score- what can i say? Pure perfection. Two outstanding themes given to us, one of melancholy beauty and the other of heart-thumping adventurous grandeur, not to mention the rest which is a driving force in modern day awe-inspiring action and suspense. Truly flawless, and more than waht we should have got/expected from a film like this.

4)Ultra-realistic dinosaurs- the likes of which we have never seen before, not since the days of Willis O'Brien and Ray Harryhausen had imagery literally wowed audiences in it's epicness. Rather than monsters, we get natural animals how they would have behaved in all their glory. They act, look, sound and feel like nothing we have ever seen before, revolutionary and mind-blowing. Ficticious some may be in their portrayal, but still as close to realism as we are ever going to get. The first time ever the audience were given the information of dinosaurs actually being related to birds, and shown to do so. And agian, for a 15 year old movie they haven't been bettered.

5)Steven Speilberg- Expert directing from one of cinema's greatest visionaries. They couldn't have been a better man for the job (well, maybe James Cameron....!) but still an absoloutly perfect choice for a 90s adventure movie, and the perfect choice for the first Jurassic Park movie, it epitomises everything of the era. Style, grace, and heart-stopping adventure all come under one- no wonder this film was the highest-grossing movie of all time till Cameron's Titanic took the crown.

6)Jeff Goldblum- Perfect cast choice for Ian Malcolm, all his lines are realistically given with his trademark sporadic style, making everything sound natural and unique rather than straightfoward lines spoken off a card. Not to mention his delivery of humour, it makes him one of the most loved and coolest "quirky science guys" in movie history.

7)Massive imprint on popular culture- Velociraptors, Gallimimuses, Dilophosaurus are amongst a few of the dinosaurs which became normal house-hold names thanks to Jurassic Park. Even the word DNA and the concept of cloning became popular after this movie. Other such iconic images such as the vibrating water glass and the assumption of standing still when confronted by a T-Rex are all thanks to the huge success and popularity of the film.

8)Bob Peck- Such a small role as Muldoon but what was soon to become a legendary character. Everyone knows who he is thanks to this movie and everyone remembers him thanks to the film, the movie made a new genertion of people aware of his talent. His presense and portrayal of what should have been a forgetable side-character made him an iconic fan-obessed figure, and his lines in the movie are some of the most quoted by fans of the movie itself. So many people paid their respects to him after his death, and most of those people knew of him primarly due to this film. If that doesn't say iconic, i dont know what does.

9)Huge increased interest in science and paleontology Museum visitiaion records, dinosaur study and books went through the roof after the movie came out in 1993, and has slowly increased over the years since it's debut. The film provided a massive surge of people now interested in the future science of DNA cloning, dinosaur excavation and in-depth study of their evolotuion and relation to birds thanks to this film.

10)Some of the greatest and iconic scenes in cinema history- the first reveal of the Brachiosaur, the T-Rex main road attack, the raptors in the kitchen- these scenes amongst a few have made a huge impact on the world and people will always remember them. Just as the image of ET and Elliot flying across the moon is legendary, so are the scenes in JP along with the logo forever be in the hearts of the movie-loving audience. Thanks i guess must go to Speilberg for weaving his magic on all these films.

Discussions on Labyrinth (1986)

Would it have been the same if it wasn't a musical and Bowie didn't sing his songs? He got a lot of crap from music critics and his older fans for writing the songs for Labyrinth. They thought the songs were terrible.
Also, it didn't have to be a musical, if they'd wanted to they could've still had Bowie without the songs and just have a straight fantasy movie. Would it have worked?

The music definitly helps a lot, i mean the whole purpose of the project was primarly based around music anyway- that was Jim Henson's initial idea. I like the story concept anyway, but i think the music definitly adds to the movie to set it apart from other fantasy films, it becomes unique for that purpose alone. Also the music, in particular the dialogue, really adds an extra dimension as well as more depth to the characters. For example the song "As The World Falls Down" is Jareth showing his romantic side and exposing his true inner feelings to Sarah which is probably more effective in music form then it would be in spoken dialogue (and indeed it becomes more magical when sung), and "Within You" perfectly shows the tragic angst that Jareth is going through which again is more effective as a song then it would be if he said it directly to Sarah. Of course he would never say any of these things to Sarah directly anyway so the songs are a way for us to understand Jareth as a deeper, more complex character- and it certianly breaks the initial preconception of him being a typical "villian", which of course he's not; and it's only through the songs that we really understand this. It's a fantasy "girl coming of age" Alice in Wonderland/Wizard of Oz journey film first and foremost but i think personally with the music it turns into a sort of pseudo-romance, especially with Bowie singing the latter songs in the film, more Phantom of the Opera ish. Jareth is definitly that type of character similar to Erik- more a tragic and misunderstood soul than a true-blue villian.

To be honest I don't even know if Sarah actually hears what Jareth is saying through his songs, maybe it's for the audience alone as she doesn't seem to be reacting to his words, but still it's great to have them in there as it shows us more to the characters that we wouldn't have got to see without the songs. Coincidently it wasn't the fantasy that attracted me to the film at first, nor the monsters or the goblins or the action (which, as a little boy, would have been the first thing to grab my attention and get me to watch it) but it was in fact the music itself that struck me. As soon as "Underground" played at the start it was hard for me not to look away as the music is wonderful and the lyrics really interesting. I didn't know Bowie got slated for his music here as i think it's a great soundtrack. The style is different from what wer'e used to hearing from him but still i think it's brilliant- with "As The World Falls Down" single-handedly being one of the best romantic ballads i've ever heard.

Of course the whole movie with music adds to that 80s MTV pop music charm as well, which is another reason why it's so popular with people. It's definitly a film of the era and the contemporary pop music (instead of full blown songs typical of most musicals) added a spin on the traditional fantasy film at the time. It's an old skool fantasy blended with modern day humour, dialogue, wit and music. I thought it was a Disney type movie at first- clean cut and traditional with nothing offensive- and then i hear the goblins talking modern day slang, saying words like "crap" (which back then for me was quite something as i was bought up watching very restricted material and hearing them swear like that was like, woah) and seeing Hoggle pissing in a pond and killing fairies and all of a sudden it's in a league of it's own- its traditional and modren, and takes the piss out of it's own genre at the same time. It's a fusion of old and new and i love it.

What about Bowie's acting? He has been slated for it in the past and when this came out, not many people thought he'd done particularly well. I for one think he is a good actor, not excellent, but he can act. And what more could one want? It's still a children's film, albeit with adult undertones.

I thought his acting was great to be honest, even as a child i was able to pick up the subtle details of his performance- his dry wit, his tounge-in-cheek humour, his over-possesive controlling side, his over-bearing seductive side, a tragic romantic, a strutting "rock star rebel" (especially with his cane that looks suspiciosly like a microphone) and as a frankly bored young man just putting on the villian act to pass the time (like he was only living up to his role as the bad guy as that was his duty, perfectly explained by Bowie in the making-of documentary where he says that he assumed Jareth reluctantly took on the job as Goblin King, and he would rather be in Soho or something having a drink and a laugh). And it's true that he rarely shows any expression for his emotions but this is what i think is truly classy about his performance- especially in the ballroom sequence where he instinctly wants to move closer to Sarah despite the whispered warnings by other jealous women there that forbid him to go- yet he looks at them and then looks at Sarah even more longinlgy and then goes and takes her by the hand, to the disaproval of everyone. I managed to catch this only becuase i used to watch the film so much everyday, it's a very deep performance but it's done very subtley and you have to focus on it to pick it up. If you've ever read artist Brian Froud's "Goblins of Labyrinth" artbook he goes into some detail about how he designed Jareth as a character and describes him as a sort of scarlett pimpernel Wuthering Heights-type "Lord of the Manor". I'd be happy to write the excerpt out for you if you haven't got the book.

And regarding his songs for the film, i completly agree with you. Each song perfectly encapsulates either the characters (the Fireys with Chilly Down), the scenario or both (as i explained in another thread, As The World Falls Down and Within You were a way to let Jareth let out his angst and inner feelings towards Sarah in a way he wouldn't be able to do in normal dialogue). "Magic Dance" is just a playful, fun-filled catchy tune which encompasses the relativly "simple" point of the entire film as a way to market it easily- a family friendly film for everyone to get up, dance to and enjoy. "Underground" however is a song which harbours the deeper meaning of the film, explaining what it's really all about for those who want to study it and learn from it's many morals and understand what Henson and Bowie really wanted to say- and that's all about Sarah (as well as us), learning and growing through metaphors and interpretations of journeys, revelations, sacrifices and redemptions regarding life itself.

So all in all every song has something relavent to say about the film, it's characters and to us in general regarding Henson's philosophy- and i find that not only intriguing but also fascinating in it's detail. I too hope that Bowie and Connelley aren't embarrased by the film though it has been well documented that Jennifer doesn't like talking about it, i remember she was on Tonight with Johnathaon Ross a few years ago and Ross bought the film up (as he would as he's a fan of it, showing a massive image of Jareth and Sarah on the screen) and Jennifer blushed, smiled and looked away in embarassment and asked if they move away from the subject as quickly as possible.

I'll leave you with some choice quotes from Jim Henson himself which i believe are completly relavant to what he was trying to say with Labyrinth, and with life in general:

"I believe that life is basically a process of growth - that we go through many lives, choosing situations and problems that we will learn through. I think there are lots of ways of leading very good lives and growing spiritually, and this process of growth goes on whether we believe in it or not."

"Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending."

"As children, we all live in a world of imagination and fantasy. And for some of us, that world of make-believe contiunes into adulthood"

top 10s....(Action, Horror)

I was bored, so here for you guys at home are two lists of my top 10 action films and top 10 horror movies; and to make it even more indecisive on my part they are in no real order of preference either, so hah!

My Top 10 favourite Action films:

#1 Aliens (1986, dir. James Cameron)What can i say other than this film is the epitome of the word "masterpiece". Put simply: Perfect. 10/10

#2 The Terminator (1984, dir. James Cameron)

I actually love this movie more than it's sequel. It's darker, grittier and more violent in tone than it's sequel, and i actually love the cheaper budget and SFX more (I'm an old-skool effects guy at heart!).

#3 Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991. dir. James Cameron)


Bigger and badder than it's predecessor and in short the greatest action movie of the 90s. The only other film which comes even close to taking it's crown was The Matrix, though i feel that T2 is still the king of that generation, bar none. A masterpiece, though I prefer the first one more as stated above.

#4 Commando (1985, dir. Mark L Lester)

An 80s classic make no mistake- fun non-stop action from the start. This film I feel encompasses everything about the genre and the decade. The simple plot, the outrageous violence, the hilarious one-liners- everything in this film screams classic- it's impossible not to be entertained. Inspired so much, including the video game Contra. The film is entertaining now and a classic as they just don't make action films as light-hearted and fun as this anymore. Much imitated but never bettered!

#5 Predator (1987, dir. John McTiernan)

I see this movie more of a sci-fi horror film more than an action film, however the action in the film is spectacular and has to be mentioned- it's a B-movie executed with AAA class.

#7 Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985, dir. George P. Cosmatos)


Another 80s classic which epitomises the era beautifully. Again this film has been imitated countless times but never beaten- Stallone's Rambo was the ultimate hero of the 80s alongside Arnie. Much imitated again but never bettered. The film again inspired Contra as well as the Metal Gear Solid series. (Solid Snake was hugely inspired by both Rambo and Snake Plisskin). The film helped paved the way for 80s action cinema, if not being one of the first to do so.

#8 Robocop (1987, dir. Paul Verhoeven)

A perfect combination of styles. 80s hardcore action and sci-fi comic book and satire mixed together in one hugely entertaining and darkly comedic movie.

#10 Die Hard (1988, dir. John McTiernan)

One of the best action movies on the 80s if not THE best. It was previously my number #1 favourite film of all time, and though it isn't anymore it still features at the top of many all-time best of lists.

My top 10 favourite Horror films:

#1 Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992, dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

An all round perfect movie apart from one major flaw- Keanu Reeve's acting and accent is laughably bad.... but i can take it, it makes it into even more of a classic! Fantastic visuals, effects and costume design, brilliantly directed, amazing acting (especially from Gary Oldman who churns out in my opinion his greatest performance ever) a superb score and an awesome re-telling of the novel (which is my favourite book ever). I love this film and always will; the epitome of high Gothic horror romance.

#2 Evil Dead 2 (1987, dir. Sam Raimi)


A classic. Brilliant fun. Creative and imaginatively inventive old-skool special effects, plenty of OTT gore and some fantastic design, directing as well as being visually superb- the film is so experimental in the techniques it uses you can't help but take notice (stop motion animation, hand-drawn animation, stop motion with real people amongst a few). Very good movie and one of the best horrors of the decade, as well as I feel being Sam Raimi's best film ever.

#3 Ringu (1998, dir. Hideo Nakata)

The original Japanese version of The Ring is the one that started it all and of course it is the best version of the story as well as being vastly superior to both the American and Korean remakes. I was absolutely terrified when i first saw this in the cinema in 1998, unaware at what it was about as back then it was only released in a few small cinemas with no hype. I have never been that scared by a film since, so the movie is a pinnacle in horror for me as i don't get scared by anything yet Ringu managed to single-handedly frighten me to near death. Both movies are different executions of the source material and I enjoyed them both. I love the original more than the remake and always will because it's more quaint, quieter and definitely a lot more scarier (imo), it's also very Japanese.

Whilst not beyond nonrecognition, I felt there are some good things about the American remake which elevates it as the best remake of an Asian horror film to date (as much as I hate remakes it's not that bad). Gore Verbinski's version was obviously done to western standards which are very different to Asia, and whilst I'm not a big fan of this kind it was still a good remake, and Verbinski managed to have a long, brooding sense of constant dread throughout the picture which I admired. The only thing I didn't like was Samara's exit out of the TV which just looked too contrived, cliche, over-glossed and generic in that Hollywood way, where I felt the original was far better in it's "less is more" premise. I also felt the tape was better in the original movie than the remake where it looked like a Nine Inch Nails music video. But the other effects were really well done (the corpses) and the scares where awesome, and not cheap like what it usually done in American horror films. I also love Japanese mythology and folklore and for them to weave it into the original was brilliant because it's a different culture so it was creepy in that sense as it wasn't anything I was familiar with; I didn't get a sense of that in the American version as it was just a normal village town, something I am familiar with and nothing foreign about it.

I think the remake is a solid and really well done adaptation though but I will always prefer the original as the definitive version as it's the better movie imo and it scared the hell out of me more than the American one.

#4 Candyman (1992, dir. Bernard Rose)

Brilliantly directed and an all round well crafted film. From the imagination of Clive Barker (based on his short story "The Forbidden") the film still holds up today as a great example of a fine psychological/horror film.

#5 Hellraiser (1987, dir. Clive Barker)

A true classic of 80s horror cinema. Clive Barker once again shows us that his imagination knows no limits as he adapts and directs his short story "The Hellbound Heart" into one of the most surprisingly effective horror films of the 80s decade. The film is a pure Gothic tale which harks back to the classic age of Edgar Allan Poe- and this is where the film stands out as it is not a typical teen slasher movies full of psychotic killers which the 80s was full of but rather a tale of obsession, intrigue, madness and desire. To be honest I hated the film when I first saw it years ago; I thought it was one of the worst directed, acted and boring horror films I had ever had to endure. But after viewing it again, and consequently again and again I realised this was a different kind of horror and understood what Barker was trying to do with it. Once you get it and understand it, it really and truly is a revolutionary and highly original piece of fantasy horror fiction.

#6 The Cell (2000, dir. Tarsem Singh)


I personally think this film is very underrated, and in my eyes it's a near masterpiece of art and design. Jennifer Lopez gives a great performance but ultimately it's the directing, visuals and design which shine brilliantly. Every single frame of the mind sequences is a work of stunning art in my view- the film works as a surreal journey into the dark reaches of the imagination as well as a highly proficient psychological horror film.

#8 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, dir. Tobe Hooper)

A classic. The first is the best movie of the series and i still think it's as powerful as it ever was. The exploits of the Hewitt family's first outing is still memorable and frightening and easily exceeds any contemporary horror movie, the recent remake and prequel included. A tour de force in low-budget high impact cinema.

#9 Saw (2004, dir. James Wan)


A fantastic horror/thriller expertly crafted by young and talented director James Wan, co-written by himself and Leigh Wannel who stars. Simple and highly effective with a fantastic twist making it one of the best horror films of the past 10 years as well as the most successful horror franchises of recent years. They should definitely end the saga now as i feel it's reached it's peak but it still never fails to pleasantly surprise me. The king of the genre which is now referred to as "torture porn".

#10 Silent Hill (2006, dir. Chrisophe Gans)


As a huge fan of the video games i thought this movie nailed it completely. It's slick, well directed and the visuals are sublime- every frame a work of art. It works well as a game adaptation but i also feel it works great as a stand alone movie. Paul Anderson, take note. THIS is how to successfully adapt a video game.

Honourable Mentions:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, dir. Wes Craven)


I love this film but I really can't get it to fit into this top 10! It deserves it's place somewhere higher, and maybe I will come back to the list and re-evaluate it so it can accomapny this classic. We Craven gives us a classic tale of child molsetor Freddy Kruger who has come to haunt the dreams of Elm Street's teenagers as he exacts revenge for the parents who murdered him as well as having some fun in his own sick and depraved way. The first is obviously the best in the series though a few of the sequels are also very good. Rober Englund gives the performance of his entire career as the iconic Freddy and Heather Lagenkamp cements herself as princess of 80s horror scream teens. An original and respected work of 80s horror brilliance- it may be cheesy in parts now but it's still a great watch!

Alien (1979. dir. Ridley Scott)


Another classic horror film which needs to be put higher in the list but again I can't seem to figure out where or even if this is the right genre for it, even though it is, it's both horror and sci-fi and does both genres really well. A fantastic film which hasn't aged in it's scared at all- I watched it recently and still found parts of it to be genuinly creepy, especially with the claustrohphiba and expert directing (lighting, choreography, design and intense acting all make it a suspensful journey into ou deepest fears of space and extra-terrestrial life). It's still one of the best out there and it's got it.

The Happening: What the FUCK did I just watch?

Seriously, what the hell?!

Iv'e liked all of Night's films so far (i absolutely LOVED Lady in the Water) but i can't get my head round Happening- is he taking the piss, or what?

The story was interesting but was executed in the most silliest, over-dramatic and cliched way i've ever seen! The acting was beyond awful, i mean what the hell was Mark Wahlberg doing, really? Everyone over-acted, even Zooey Deschanel who i really admire! The movie ranged from decent sequences to just plain pathetic - case in point the lion death- how stupid and ridiculously silly and fake did that look? Whats with the dialogue too? It didn't know what it was- a parody, a comedy- something else? The characters- what was Night thinking? The completely sporadic crazy old lady that is pretty much unexplainable, Zooey's randomly annoying skitso that spouts nonsense, Mark's OTT nerdy character- an over-acted geek teacher which he really can't pull off, i mean seriously, what the HELL?

It's so bad I'm not even going to bother to review it properly, in fact consider this my one and only review of this..."thing"!

Ugh. I just can't begin to comprehend what i just sat through, I really don't know. It feels like I've been slimed. I feel so odd.